I moved to Sweden from the United States in 2016 to live with my Swedish partner in a remote village in the far north. Although my partner has lived here his whole life and everyone practically knows each other, I have found it difficult to make friends with locals.
After giving birth to my daughter in late 2019, I became more determined to make friends in the area. I wanted my daughter to see people meet together and communicate so that she could be more social herself.
I found making friends to be more difficult than I thought. There was no parent group in the area or activities for children. I started a Facebook group for parents in the local area. Although I posted content, no one ever responded or posted any content themselves.
Once my daughter started daycare I gradually started meeting other families. A little girl hosted a birthday party and invited all the daycare children, so I was able to meet a few parents and chat for the first time without being in a rush.
At this party I met another foreign family, a husband from Israel and a wife from Croatia, and their little boy who was three years old. I enjoyed talking to them. They were a bit different compared to the locals, particularly chattier and more responsive to questions. They had been living near my community for over one year.
The mother sounded distraught because she also found it difficult to make friends in the area and did not have anywhere to take her son who was full of energy. I could understand her unhappiness and frustration.
I told her to join the Facebook group I launched, which she was unaware of. I also informed her about playtime that recently started at the nearby church, which she attended one time with her son.
Within a couple months I invited the family to my house for coffee, but I had to cancel because my daughter was sick. After a couple weeks I invited the family over again, and to my surprise the mother said they had moved out of the country! She said it had become too difficult for them to live in the rural community, so they relocated to Croatia.
My heart sank because I felt I had lost a contact that I would have enjoyed getting to know. I wondered if the community was more open and welcoming would they have stayed? If I had invited them over sooner would they have felt more connected?
Nevertheless, my potential new friends were gone. I am trying to be more active in the community and encourage parents to connect and bring their kids out more, but it is rather tiresome when no one really responds.
I too feel a longing to leave Sweden and return to more social America, but for now I am here starting my family and trying to make the best of it.
One thing is for sure, try to make friends while you can because you never know if they may move. A few families have already moved away since I have relocated here and I think much of it has to do with the lack of a social network and children’s activities. Less families altogether means less friends for you and less friends for your children.
Photo: Photo by Roberto Nickson from Pexels.
